Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
