I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize