It's Friday. Sex?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
