just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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