I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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