If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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