ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
