break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
