also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
