I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
