im six kinds of drunk right now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
