party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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