So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
