it hurts more in the daytime
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
