He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
