sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
