All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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