when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
