So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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