so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
