I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize