That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
