we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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