He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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