okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
