The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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