so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
