I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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