She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
