There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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