oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
