Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize