Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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