im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
