Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
