i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
