This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
wow bdsm is so cute
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
