Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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