these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
