He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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