Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
