Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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