I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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