are you still at the devil's house?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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