You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
His nipple licking is glorious
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