i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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