I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
