My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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