I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize