idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
