i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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