so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I believe in your delicious
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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