you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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