I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
