Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
