she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
