she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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