If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
