we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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