You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
