ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
