Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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