I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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